My Son, the Vegan Jedi

As I have mentioned, my kids have never eaten at McDonalds. They have no idea what a happy meal is, and at last week's company picnic, they gobbled up avacado rolls while viewing the unnaturaly white peanut butter and jelly Uncrustables with suspicion. They're odd, but what did we expect?

My four year old son is still convinced that Old McDonald runs McDonalds and kills his animals, no matter how many times I try to explain that Old McDonald might run a farm sanctuary.

My 2 year old daughter is still too little to understand what we're up to, although she did tell her teachers that she doesn't drink milk when they accidentally put the cup in front of her.

My kids like to help me stock my leaflets at the library (we call it our "activist activity"). I let them hold the Guide to Cruelty Free Eating, but not the ones with the horrifying pictures. My son and I were walking out of the library restroom, and there was a rolly polly bug (known in some regions as a sow bug or a pill bug) inside the building. My son wanted to pick it up and take it outside, so he very carefully got it and carried it outside to live in the bushes.

Later that same day, we were shopping and we saw a wounded cricket on the ground. Up until now, my son has been scared of crickets because of the sound they make. We told him they were singing, they were nice, about Jimmy Cricket and the cricket in Mulan, but to no avail. He told me we had to save the cricket, and I hapened to have an empty plastic box with me, so I scooped it up.

He then got to release his little friend into the bushes, and he was happy to tell his daddy that he saved two lives that day.

Other kids were walking by the wounded cricket, but my little guy stopped, and insisted we help, and that made me proud. Also, my kids pick up the numerous rolly pollies from the walkway in front of their school so they don't get squashed.

My son recently informed me that he was a jedi "A nice jedi though. I don't hurt living things with my light saver [sic]. I'm a vegan jedi."

A jedi padawan from Episode I. Oddly, this little padawan has the same name as my son.

Mother's Little Helper

What's small, battery operated, buzzes, and though I love my husband, has become my new best friend?

Robots. House cleaning robots.

I know everyone has heard about the Roomba, the vacuuming robot. And up until now, I dismissed them as overpriced toys for lazy yuppies. But then I met the Scooba.

I have two small children, and they make a mess on our floors. I have spent far too many hours of my life on my hands and knees, chipping dried bananas and petrified cheerios off the floor with a dull knife. I wash or vacuum all my floors once a week (well, almost) but they're still always nasty by the second day. We don't wear shoes in the house, so it's even more nasty when sticky banana goo is stuck on my foot.

Enter the Scooba.

I had ignored it, but then it was on sale, and I had a coupon, and there was a gift card, and so on, until it seemed cheap enough for me not to have a brain hemmorhage paying for it. The Scooba changed my life.

It does four things - vacuums, squirts cleaning solution (you can use vinegar in place of their pricey solution, so it's non-toxic and cheap), scrubs, then sucks up the water. No matter how often I run it, the water comes up dark grey. Nasty. But my floors feel clean and nice, and I am a much happier person because of it. I loved it so much that we got the Roomba too. Every day it gets about a baseball sized hunk of grey ick from my carpets. I have vacuumed every week since we moved in, so that's not old gunk. Fresh shed skin cells - nummy.

I have excuses for buying them. I am preparing for work, at work, commuting or doing meal prep from 6:00 am until 8 or 9 pm daily. Few exceptions (if a kid is sick). And on weekends, the machines give me enough time to do other things, like spend time at the park without worrying that I'll be up until midnight doing laundry or cooking for the week or whatever since I spent too much time on the floors.

They're excuses. Yes. I could have kept using the old mop and vacuum. But dang, if it isn't just the coolest thing to come home to a clean house, when you left with sand and popcorn all over the floor. The Roomba even goes back to his home base and recharges itself.

How cool is it that we live in a time when household robots are for sale in regular stores? And how sad that we have this, but people still starve. I have thought of this, yes. But I bought them anyway, and maybe I'm selfish, but I don't regret it.

Vegan Firefighters

I found this video on vegan firefighters on Vegan Porn.

Now if anyone says vegans are sickly and wimpy, you have the ammunition my friends.

The Veggie Geek Psychological Profile

Being vegan is like taking part in a bizarre sociological experiment. The way people respond to you is almost a whole psychological profile in itself.

The Veggie Geek Psychological Profile
Which is your favorite Beatle, and why?
Which is your favorite Muppet, and why?
How do you respond when Veggie Geek eats with you?

The answers to these three questions will reveal more about a person than you'd ever want to know.

Now, first of all, I wasn't always vegan. I deserve every comment I get. Behold some of the dumb things my husband and I said and did that deserve karmic retribution:

1) When I met my first vegan, I told her how we ate fish and chicken. Very little red meat! (What, did I want a merit badge? What is it about not eating beef that's more "vegetarian?")

2) My husband saw a shirt that we thought was a hoot - Vegan: definition - naked, starving, lying in a ditch, eating the bark that fell off a tree. (Har har, those vegans, they just go to far.)

3) Told anyone who would listen about my unintentional veganism in college (as in, no money for food, lived off pasta and lettuce) and how it made me lethargic and spacey. I would happily describe protein deficiency as a reason I couldn't go veg.

4) Screaming tomatoes - I read something about tomatoes "screaming" when they're cut. This proved to me that plants felt things just like animals, thus vegetarians were not thinking straight. And of course, I would spread this info far and wide, without ever thinking about how many "screaming" plants have to be eaten to make a little meat. Or how many "screaming" animals died terribly because I wanted to save a tomato.


So anyhow, I've mentioned some of my interactions with omnis before. At this point, I've seen and heard a lot. I've been openly attacked, been told I should let my kid "choose" (would you feed your preschooler a dog that had been skinned alive? Why not let him choose for himself?) I've had a group of people stand next to me (knowing I was veg and having eaten with me and discussed the topic with me) and rip on my beliefs, calling people like me ignorant and deluded. I've had people do the "gobble gobble" thing at Thanksgiving. I've had them ask me to help dig through a bucket of chicken to find them a breast (I kind of went off, just a little). I've had people call my food "shit," while not tasting it of course. I've had people be kind, respectful, totally nice. I've heard intelligent questions. I've had people go so out of their way to accomodate me that I got tears in my eyes since they were so thoughtful.

I'm not the Vegan Crone yet, but I'm dry behind the ears now.

And I am learning that most people are very cool about it. And also that the asinine stuff is never really about me. For a long time, I felt attacked. Why did people always want to tell me how they think my ideas are dumb? Why not leave me the fuck alone? Why assume that I'm stupid or haven't thought past "animals are cute and fuzzy?" I'm just trying to eat here. Go the fuck away.

But I'm starting to think that it's really about people defending themselves against me. It's odd. They only say that stuff because they're afraid that I'm judging them. They say that stuff because they want to look kind and knowledgeable. They don't want to be wrong or perceived as cruel. They don't want me to think badly of them.

I had a meal with someone, and he is a very cool person who I liked a lot. During the course of a meal, this person told me how he was vegetarian for X number of years. Also, suggested that we let our kids eat a hamburger if they get invited to a birthday party at McDonalds (ha and double ha!). Later, he told me about how he had to eat meat for some reason. Further on, he described sitting with a Buddhist monk on a plane who was vegetarian. This monk said he'd eat meat if someone prepared it specially for him. So this person thought about it and went back to eating meat (all the time, not just when it was offered). Later, more discussion on how he didn't want his kid to be "picky" and inconvenience people, so they gave him meat.

Now, I made sure to be super-polite. I didn't even respond to any of this (aside from explaining how I could pack a veggie burger or vegan pizza or whatever for the birthday party). I just did the nod and smile. Mmm hmmm. Oh, really. Is that right? Emily Post would have raised her fist in triumph at my politeness.

I wondered why our food choices always become this big discussion, even if I don't even say anything. It kind of bugged me about our beliefs being, well, not "attacked" but certainly questioned. Why do people have to harp on me? Why keep bringing it up over and over? Then it came to me. None of this was ever about me. It's about the other person.

It's about someone else justifying his choices. Especially since he used to be vegetarian. It was like - look, I was where you are now. I have to eat meat for health. Monks would eat meat, so it's ok. Raising your kids to fit in is important.

Side note - raising my kids to "fit in" is right above raising my kids to poke their eyes out with pencils on my parenting to-do list. I'd rather teach them to think and act for themselves rather than torture helpless things in order to not be "picky." Besides, anyone who won't be their friend because of what they eat can just miss out.

Back on topic - I'm going to start looking at all these little episodes in a new light. Instead of me being the target of attack, I'm going to view myself as being in sort of a position of power. Instead of feeling upset about it, I'm going to remember that they're the ones on the defensive, even though all I'm doing is happily eating my lunch. After all, I can just quietly do my thing, and if people feel defensive, that's really their problem. I never realized what a powerful position that was - to just sit, do my thing and not take responsibility for the reactions of others. I will be an unshakable mountain of veganness.

Response from Tyson

In the comments for my post on Tyson giving out prayer booklets, I mentioned that I emailed Tyson.

Here's a copy of my email:

As a former consumer of Tyson products, I feel the need to comment on the Giving Thanks prayer booklets that you offer for your customers. I used to purchase Tyson products for my family all the time, until I learned about how you raise and slaughter your birds.

I have written my own prayer. If God is a compassionate being, I think He would be horrified by what Tyson does to His helpless creatures.

video link in case you have no idea what I'm talking about:
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=virgil

cut and pasted this prayer

Thank you,
[my name]


So I got a response back. I was kind of surprised, but then I remembered that I heard back from KFC when I wrote a letter to them too. Same basic form letter thing with them assuring me that though killing birds may be "distasteful" (KFC's word) that they are humane. The email below makes it sound like the chickens are going to a day spa with the calming low lights.

I'll withold the email address from the guy who sent it, just because... well, I don't know why I'd protect someone at Tyson. Maybe I should put up the email address if people want to respond. Then again, I'm anti-spam. I guess if you want to email someone there, go to Tyson's website and have at it.

Here's the email from the Customer Relations person:


Tyson Foods produces and processes its chickens in the same
manner that 98 percent of all chickens in the United States are produced
and processed.

Independent contract farmers who usually have other
agricultural interests as well grow the chickens on relatively small
farms. The space they have during "growout" is controlled, but it is
about twice what is provided by poultry producers in many other
countries. They typical broiler house is about 16,000 square feet. The
birds are allowed to move throughout this entire space. The houses are
kept warm in the winter and well ventilated in the summer. It has been
consistently proven that chickens, which are uncomfortable, do not gain
weight as quickly and are more susceptible to disease. So every effort
is made to keep the chickens comfortable. The chickens are fed a
nutritious, high quality diet that is primarily corn-based and, contrary
to widespread belief, contains no steroids or growth hormones. Tyson
also does not routinely feed healthy broiler chickens antibiotics as
growth stimulants.

Another widespread misperception concerns the practice of
"debeaking" chicks. Tyson discontinued this practice on broilers many
years ago. Nor does Tyson "declaw" chicks, as has been falsely
alleged by some groups.

In the processing plant, the chickens are slaughtered in the
most humane manner possible, which includes calming them in a low-light
room and stunning them early in the process with a low-voltage electric
shock that anesthetizes them before processing begins.

In times past, when chickens were killed on the farm, their
necks were wrung or their heads cut off with an ax. Modern methods
traumatize the animal much less.

We realize that the idea of killing chickens in any manner
treads on delicate ground with many people. But we would ask those
people to understand that for the millions around the world who depend
on an affordable protein source, our operations are essential. And
we're doing our best to ensure that those operations are carried out as
humanely as is possible.


And my response back:


Thank you for your response.

Just briefly - just because 98% of other chicken processers do something doesn't make it ok. Scalding animals alive is not ok, even if 100% of other places do it. Other countries have terrible animal welfare standards, so saying you're doing better than they are is not saying much.

As for "cheap protein," plant sources of protein are cheaper, heathier for humans, kinder to animals and better for the environment. So the arguement that somehow it's ok to hurt helpless animals for human benefit does not hold up.

As for your "humane" slaughter, I think this video speaks for itself. There is no reason to believe that this was an isolated incident.

http://www.torturedbytyson.com/

It's disgusting. It's inhumane. I have now taken it upon myself to tell as many people as possible about these practices. Already, a good number of family and friends have decided to boycott all Tyson products.

I know we come from different perspectives, what with you working for Tyson. So thanks for reading my email. I wasn't an activist of any kind before I saw things like the video above. I'm an average 30-something white-collar suburban mom who ate your products for years. I fed them to my kids. I believed that companies like Tyson would never do things like the video above shows.

If people like me, my family and my friends (who are also not "activist types") are sitting up and taking notice, Tyson should pay attention. If appealing to Tyson's sense of compassion for living things has no effect, perhaps a complete boycott will.

[my name]